If you’ve been reading my recent blog posts or follow me on Facebook and Instagram then you will know the difficulties I’ve been having with Austin’s sleeping (Why won’t you sleep baby?) and i’ve been asking myself should I just co-sleep instead?
Since he was born he has never been great at sleeping during the day but more recently has been bad at night too, generally ending up in my bed after battling to try and put him down in the next to me crib. I have been finding it really hard at say the least.
In short he likes to be held or cuddled to sleep and the moment you put him down, he wakes up crying until you pick him up again. At night when I’m already exhausted from the day and him not sleeping, I just struggle to hold it together and keep trying. When I know as soon as he’s in bed with me, he’s quiet and will often just go straight to sleep.
It basically just becomes a game of who’s going to give in first! And inevitably he’s so stubborn and I’m so tired that he always wins.
After Mike tried to give me a night on my own in the spare room whilst he was in our room with Austin failed miserably and ended up with Austin and I both in the spare bed. The last few nights we have continued to co-sleep in the spare bed. It some ways it’s been better I guess because his cot is not in there, so I go to bed knowing that he will in the bed with me from the start. Managing my expectations for the night ahead and avoiding being annoyed and frustrated. Because of this I have definately felt less resentment towards Austin as a result, which can only be a good thing.
When Austin first started ending up in the bed, I slept really badly and often woke up with a bad back but that’s not been such an issue recently. Perhaps I am just used to him being in the bed now.
This has led me to consider whether I should just co-sleep instead, at least for the present.
I do that it’s not really recommended and certainly not something I had planned on doing but I know several mums who have co-slept with their babies either by choice or through necessity.
I do wonder if Austin picks up on my anxiety and desire to put him down in his cot and so he clings to me even more. I think probably the fact that I am breastfeeding him still is also another factor and at the moment he’s still having several boob feeds during the night. Whether this is for hunger or comfort or both i’m not sure
I worry with co-sleeping that it will make it that much harder to get him into a good routine and into his cot. Also it’s not ideal for Mike and I, as we only have a regular size double bed and we both find we get a terrible night’s sleep if all 3 of us are in the same bed. This has meant that for the most part since Austin was born, mike has slept in the spare room. But it would be nice if we could share a bed again.
But on the other hand I think perhaps considering is just giving in and we should persevere with trying to get him to sleep in the next to me. We did have a similar situation when Hayden was younger but I think both Mike and I had more fortitude to stay the course with getting him into the cot. This and the fact that Austin crying a lot will inevitably wake up Hayden.
I’m pretty torn about whats for the best, and what the right decision and choices are? For my mental health right as this moment, co-sleeping seems like a good option but for my mental health and relationship in the longer term I think I just need to have some space and a break from the baby at night.
I suppose maybe it’s just a question of what do I need most right now, probably the answer to that is a good night’s sleep!
Did you co-sleep with your little one? Would recommend it? Any other sleep advice greatly appreciated.
If you’re interested in co-sleeping there is some great advice on how to co-sleep safely with baby from the lullaby trust, https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/